Sorry, Kiddo.


Before Kiddo was born, I vowed that I would never put anything online about his diaper or toilet habits. I will now bend that vow slightly, but (I hope) in a way that will not embarrass him ten years down the road.

(What kind of fool am I being? Ten years from now, anything we do or will have done is going to embarrass him.)

Before Kiddo was born, before our midpoint ultrasound where all the parts were inspected and displayed, I wasn’t sure which sex I wanted our child to be. I had only two concerns about having a boy, and one of them was around toilet training.

(Oh, sorry. I’m informed by the Supermommies Of The Internet that it’s “potty learning.” Whatever.)

I am delighted that he turned out to be a boy. I am excited watching him grow and learn new things. But I’ve known that one day, we’d reach the point that I was dreading, and we’d have to start with the potty training. And it looks like that distant train is much closer than we thought.

Most of the unpleasantness of toilet training applies to both sexes – the wet and messy pants, soggy imprints on the floor and furniture, mad rushes to find public bathrooms when someone has to go “now, Mommy, right now!”

Boys, however, come with an additional challenge. Very few of them are born with perfect aim.


And that’s enough said about that.


Author: Jessica Wallace

I'm a wife, mother, and software engineer living near Seattle, Washington. I like doing competitive puzzle events like the MIT Mystery Hunt and The Game. I've recently started learning a bit about candymaking, much to the delight of my husband, friends, and co-workers.

7 thoughts on “Sorry, Kiddo.

  1. Thank goodness for mommies!

  2. I believe this gets filed squarely under “Jeff’s Job”

  3. Dude. Are you nuts? Start him out sitting down. Don’t even attempt standing.

    • Oh, we are! But I don’t think he’ll be content to do that forever, and that’s the point I’m not looking forward to.

      • I was actually surprised at how well it went when my guys decided to start standing–that was about a year after they were fully potty trained, so they had really very little trouble with it. Not guaranteeing it’ll go as easily for yours, of course, but it’s not a guaranteed disaster, either.

  4. I had Rich be primary trainer on this one. I figured he knew a bit better than I did exactly what would and would not need to happen for boys. 🙂 I’ve also been lucky (with Teddy, at least) that he wanted to learn sitting down rather than standing up.

    Pete, I just wish he’d LEARN! 🙂

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